Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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