There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
