the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize