Dual....:-)
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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