My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
