yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So many bounce houses so little time
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
