can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
