you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
