if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
