i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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