Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
