dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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