I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
