The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
