ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize