I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
