Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
