So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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