you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
