Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
