I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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