i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
