Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
