he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
