We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
