It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize