Little spoons don't ask big questions
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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