Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
