Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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