My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
