My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
