He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
