Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
