Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I have demons in me.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the day after is always just damage control
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
