This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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