Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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