i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
