I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
