I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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