I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize