the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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