I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
