I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
