using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It's no shave November. This is our time.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
