Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
