I wish they made helmets for livers.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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