I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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