Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I came so hard my ears popped.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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