What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
