eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
