I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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