i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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