3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
