believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
