I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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