lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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