ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
