So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
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