I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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