The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
These tits shall not be calmed
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
